So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
