you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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