so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
this will be a night to untag.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
