Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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