Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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