You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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