At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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