I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
