Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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