People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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