so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
