i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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