Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I know her cup size but not her name....
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