I didn't shave. On purpose
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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