Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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