Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just found a bag of teeth...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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