Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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