My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
