I think I am morally bankrupt
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
