Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
