She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
