Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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