Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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