No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
