Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize