That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
