you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
