soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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