Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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