Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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