Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How external is "for external use only"?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
