Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
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Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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