Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
