highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
