The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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