Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
