You're so nebulous sometimes
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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