fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am one with the molecules
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize