dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
