so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
