I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
