Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize