omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
