Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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