So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
only if we run a train.
done.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
