To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
