Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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