He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
