I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
