Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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