just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
