Do you still have your period?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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