i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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