Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I take back everything I said about communal showers
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
