we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
