belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
