Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
