we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she told me i tasted like america
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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