I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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