i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
