My liver just broke up with me...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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