and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
