he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
