I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize