im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
